We can spend so many moments of our lives wishing for certain things to happen. I don’t like what ifs and am much more inclined to take my chances should an opportunity arise. And if it doesn’t, I’ll create it!

When I went to Chicago in 2015, it was an absolute leap of faith. I didn’t know Mr 4,000 very well at all but based on our initial (and only) meeting and the few subsequent skype calls we had, my instinct told me it would all be fine. And it was. So much so, that I went back in 2016. The second trip left me a little broken hearted though and afterwards I’d decided it was unlikely that I’d ever return to Chicago, at least specifically to see him.

After my return, he and I had discussed the probability of him coming to London but between his family obligations and limited holiday allowances in the US, it was looking like a farfetched dream. Plus, what seemed like a blossoming romance between me and The Vegan led me to believe that even if he did make the trip across the pond, the two of us meeting up may not have been deemed as appropriate. My conclusion was that I would never see him again. I was wrong.

At work, I typically sit with my phone silently next to me on my desk. I check it a reasonable number of times throughout the day and it’s not at all often that I receive messages. I could quite possibly go the day without it, to be frank. So on that fateful day when I left my phone at home, you could never imagine the shock that rippled through me when I was finally reunited with it at 10pm and saw his messages. He was coming to London in only three weeks’ time. At this point, I must state that the reasoning for his trip was for business and he’d be staying in Surrey for the four-day duration. He wasn’t coming just to see me but I was still pretty chuffed that he got in touch. He would arrive on a Sunday morning, having the rest of the day free for a catch up, if I was available and willing.

Me being me, I planned the day’s itinerary down to the last minute, with lots of variations to account for delays with transport and the potential onset of jetlag. Stupidly though, what I didn’t account for was rain. To say the rain put a dampener on my plans is a huge understatement (and cheap intended pun) but I adjusted accordingly and can honestly say for a whirlwind tour of the city, we had a pretty good day and still managed to squeeze a lot into six or so hours.

As the day went on, I was more and more wary of the fact that he still needed to make the journey to Surrey and at around 7.30pm we were waiting for the bus back to my flat so he could collect his bags. It was here that I chose to ask the question that had been in mind ever since I received the notification of his trip – “how are things with your lady?”, I probed. If I’m honest, at this point I guess I was trying to establish what the boundaries were while he was here. I knew he was seeing someone beforehand but since it’s not a subject we ever discuss at length, I didn’t want to make any assumptions as to what his current situation was.

His response to the question was “I don’t really want to talk about it, I’m not trying to be weird but I’d rather not talk about it. I’ve got some things to figure out…..”. Whether it was just that he felt uncomfortable talking about her with me or the situation was painful, I don’t know, nor did I need to know. I just needed to know she was still in the picture and that was more than enough to know where the boundaries were. I quickly changed the subject, the bus arrived and we trundled along in the rain, discussing the options for him getting to Surrey that night.

The following three days were a bit heady. Clearly, he was in much, much closer proximity but being in Surrey still wasn’t exactly around the corner. Still, it was weird to know that while going about my normal activities, he was in the same time zone as me, that I could message him at any point during my waking day and he’d potentially reply within a few minutes, rather than having to wait until the late afternoon/evening. With him having meetings throughout the days and dinners with colleagues planned for the evenings, the only opportunity he’d have to meet up again was late on Wednesday. I figured I could make the journey to him so that I’d arrive at the hotel roughly around the time that he returned from his meal and we agreed to have drinks in the bar. We chatted for a few hours working our way through the cocktail menu and all the while, I kept thinking that this was nice but it was also probably never to be repeated.

Alas, I had a curfew and it would’ve been incredibly costly for me to have missed the last train. The journey home was long and tiring but I felt good in the knowledge that we had parted on good terms and more importantly, with the respect for the boundaries intact. My conclusion though, is that I will never see him again.